Category Archives: women

Skinny Jeans.. The self-esteem killer

I love fashion just as much as the next girl. In fact, for someone who is not in fashion as a profession, I follow the trends pretty closely. I enjoy it. I like clothes, especially shoes and scarfs.

Sometimes it takes me a while to come around. Take for instance the pointy-toe pumps that were all the rage a few years ago. It took me a while to adopt the pointy-toe shoe trend. But when I did, I sported (admittedly) both boots and shoes with pointy toe.

The confidence crusher (A.K.A. skinny jeans)

Fast forward a few years later and out come the skinny jeans. I didn’t take to this fashion trend straight away either. I stood on the sidelines, watched and waited. I definitely witnessed a few misses, but when the time was right I jumped in. It felt odd at first, wearing jeans so snug. I had always worn my jeans loose, not baggy, but relaxed. The way I thought jeans were suppose to fit.

There is nothing relaxing about skinny jeans. I always feel the need to suck in my tummy or hid my back-side with a tunic. Let’s be honest, skinny jeans are a pain in the butt. If you have even the slightest love handles, it shows. A little tummy, it shows. They are fault-finding jeans. I guess they are called skinny jeans because only very skinny people can wear them.

Not wanting to end this blog on a bad note, I will say this in favor of the skinny jean. They are a great incentive for working out and staying in shape! And, they now have high waisted skinny jeans. Which are more comfortable than the traditional styles and help hold in any excess around the mid-section. Phew! Now, let’s wait and see what they come out with next.. and I hope it doesn’t have the word “skinny” in it.

Pinterest.. the new “it” site?

I recently came across yet another social site that lets you share all the things you love on the world wide web. I finally got on Twitter and am just learning about Tumblr when along comes 

I found out about Pinterest through a friend on Facebook. What drew me to Pinterest is all the pretty pictures. Seriously! Check it out and have a look at all the cool things you can see on one page. Granted, it is a bit girly as there is a lot of fashion, food and home decor.

Pinterest reminds of the wedding blog site StyleMePretty, “for style obsessed brides” (yes, that is the official tag-line). I cherished this web site while I was planning my wedding. All the ideas! The photos! It gave me inspiration and I spent countless hours scrolling through wedding after wedding.

How Pinterest works: Once you sign up (it oddly takes about a week to get “approved” by the Pinterest staff), you install the “Pin It” button which lets you grab an image from the web and add it to any one of your “pinboards”.

Check out my.. See anything you like?

“I don’t care for most things.”

Not quite over my what does it all mean phase (although I do sense the end is near) I am seeking solace in strong, opinionated women who also happen to be writers.

Having read and absorbed Elizabeth Gilbert’s novel on the subject of marriage (Committed), I took notice of a particular study called the Marriage Benefit Imbalance. Now while this raises much controversy, the imbalance is still a legitimate theory in sociological study. The study argues that women do not benefit from marriage as much as their male partners do. And while current research and discussions surrounding this topic are far more complex than what I’m touching upon, I do believe the work does have its merits.

Besides Gilbert, I recently found myself drawing from another witty and liberated writer, Dorothy Parker. In honor of Ms Parker, herewith are a few of my favorite quotes:

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Women and elephants never forget.

Curl Controversy

Having curly hair is not just a hairstyle, it’s a way of life. It is as though you pass through a right of passage when you have curly hair. It is a process. Ask anyone with curly hair and they will tell you.

It starts with denial. This was a no-brainer for me because I didn’t always have curly hair. I had stick straight hair, glossy and smooth. Granted I was six years old, but my hair was easy and I didn’t think about it (admittedly, not many six years olds do think about their hair). But as the years passed and I turned twelve/thirteen my hair began to change. It curled. Not only did it curl, it grew fuzzy and coarse. And as this hair change occurred, I stood in staunch denial. I don’t have curly hair, this is just a phase. It will pass. Well, guess what… it didn’t.

So then began the straightening procedures. I pulled and tugged and dried the crap out of my hair in an attempt to have that smooth straight hair that everyone else had. It’s true, not many people rocked the curls back in the 80’s; unless you were a pop star and sported the afro (and were black or half black). The straightening didn’t work so well and often left me frustrated and with sore arms and hands.

Until…. I reached the financially solvent age of adulthood were I was able to pay for straight hair. A new millennium was here and I, a young professional, found myself with disposable income to spend as I wish (i.e. on expensive hair treatments). When the keratin treatments came out promising smooth, straight hair for months I ran right into the arms of mister keratin. And he did exactly as promised. I had straight, smooth, glossy hair. The financial cost aside, my hair was soaked and saturated in chemicals. At the time I told myself that I did not care. That if this was the price for straight hair, I would pay it. But as the months passed I realized having chemicals so close to my brain and so near to my face was probably a bad idea. So as the keratin slowly released its grip on my hair, so did the smooth straightening effect. And as the curls (and coarseness) returned I felt happy. I felt pure and natural.

My wild hair stage.

And this is the prefect place to enter the next phase, acceptance. The acceptance phase in my curl journey was to embrace and even welcome my fate of a curly coif. The drama that ensued with this stage (there is always drama) is that I went a little too far with the embracing and decided to wear an afro, with wild hair coming out in all directions. I thought, “Why not cut off all my long locks! They are dry and brittle anyway. Rock the ‘fro!” Sounds like a great idea when high on confidence and loaded with courage. Alas, soon after my locks were sheered off, I regretted it. Ouch. No way to turn the clock back on that one.

The moral of the story is that throughout the process, each step was integral to get to where I am now – peaceful reconciliation. I knew then that short hair was not for me. And when my hair grew back (hair does grow back!) I had a newfound appreciation for my curly locks.

This blog is dedicated to my curly hair guru, Healthy Curls. Thank you Healthy Curls, you’re a brilliant inspiration to all us curly haired gals out there!

The “W” word


Let me start by clarifying I have no problems with marriage or mating for life. I love partnership and union and everything like that. In fact, I’ve even found my mate. I’m all set.

Then why am I treating it like a dirty word?

Well, the simple ceremony which once represented two people uniting in marriage has become quite simply a cash cow. As soon as you mention the “w” word prices skyrocket. The wedding industry – indeed it is now an entire industry – is capitalizing on what should be your “big day”. I regret what has happened to the pure and simple marriage ceremony, where a dress wasn’t an overpriced gown and the dessert not a million dollar cake.

And whoever said your wedding day is the happiest day of your life? Um, I wish to object. I have the fortune of living some pretty spectacular days and cannot picture this day (as happy as it may be) topping all others.

An excellent example of wedding traditions gone wrong is depicted in the British film, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Imagine being bruised on the hips or stuck in the car on account of your humongous wedding dress?! Hmmm…. something is not right here.

With so much pressure on the one big day it’s no wonder things are unraveling out of control. What happens if we remove these pressures and put our focus on what really matters – the celebration of marriage vows.

a man’s world

When I stated I would vote for Senator Hillary Clinton for US president because she is a woman, my boyfriend asked if that was considered sexist. He supposed if a man were to make such a claim that he could be viewed as such.

I was quick to point out that unfortunately, most of the world’s population believes that men and women are not equal. A female leader can empower women around the world. Yet there have been so few. Take Britain’s Margaret Thatcher; or Benazir Bhutto, a hero in her own right; or the famous Indira Gandhi.

Also, men and women come from very different histories, and therefore have different perspectives on life. Women are intuitive, with a warm heart and a strong will. All the qualities of a great leader.

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